21 February 2015

Buffalo Cauliflower Things

Whatever genius came up with this "cooking hack," it's now common knowledge. No less than four blogs (and many more than that) list the same darn recipe, and so, four sources = common knowledge = no need to cite.

CAULIFLOWER CARNAGE!! Buffalo Cauliflower | Gothic Granola

Cooking "hack" and "Confessions of a Housewife/Runner/ Girl/Mommy/Trophy Wife/Vegan/Acolyte/ad nauseum." I am sick of both of these HACKneyed turns of phrase (and titling) in food blogs. Food is not 1s and 0s, hence one can't technically "hack" it, in the computer programming definition (unless we are truly just programs in the Matrix/Grid).

Cue Tron: Legacy soundtrack.

The voiceover seems unnecessary, no?

And keep your confessions in the confessional or in your sangha, where they belong. </rant>

Anyway. Buffalo Cauliflower has been a long time in the making in my kitchen; I first saw a recipe for it several years ago, and then I found better uses for all the cauliflower I've bought since then (a significant amount; I like roasted cauli). Paleo rice comes to mind. A head of yellow cauliflower was wasting away in the produce drawer and I zapped it back to life with a hot sauce and crispy brown rice coating.

The "original" recipe has a bit of salt in the "breading" mixture. I omitted it because hot sauce is little else but hot peppers, garlic, perhaps vinegar, and salt, in varying degrees.


Buffalo Cauliflower

1 head cauliflower, cut into medium "trees"

1/2 cup brown rice flour (or other neutral GF flour--teff and quinoa flours are not recommended here)

1/2 cup water

1/2 clove of garlic, grated/pressed

1 tablespoon vegan margarine, melted

1/2 cup hot sauce (Q's blend: 1/4 cup Cholula, 2 tablespoons sriracha, and 2 tablespoons chili garlic sauce)


Preheat the oven to 450 degrees Fahrenheit (yes, really, that hot--the plastic display over the oven in my previous apartment began to feel a little melty at that high temperature).

Line a baking sheet with parchment or Silpat.

In a wide, shallow bowl, whisk together the brown rice flour, water, and garlic.

Coat the cauliflower trees in the "bread" mixture and place on the prepared baking sheet.

Bake for 10 minutes, flip, and bake for another 10 minutes.

While the trees are baking, combine your hot sauce and melted margarine.

After that initial 20 minutes of baking, brush or spoon hot sauce onto the trees.

Bake for another 10-15 minutes.

Remove from the oven and enjoy!

Buffalo Cauliflower | Gothic Granola 

Woo, still-kinda-processed, salty, spicy things!

 buffalo cauliflower | Gothic Granola
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